News from Paddington, 2015-11-20

@mildbyte (RSS) on Nov. 20, 2015 (3 years ago)

Tags: paddington | writing



Hi, I'm News from Paddington and jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.

News from Paddington went to a database conference last Friday instead of going to work! Going to a conference is basically like going to university, except the lectures are more interesting, filled with swearwords and useful content, and all of the food is free. Five Paddington points out of five.

It's amazing how little it takes to stop a city. Somebody decided to hold the door for a second on the Jubilee Line train at Waterloo one morning and that broke the doors. After staying at the station for 10 minutes and finally moving, the train arrived to a massive crowd of happy commuters at London Bridge (a diligent reader might remember Jubilee Line has doors on some platforms and so people usually queue in front of these doors, except in this case the queues were too long for the platform and evolved into some sort of a multiplayer Snake game without losing their integrity at any point. This did prevent News from Paddington from getting out of the station in less than 10 minutes, though).

  • The Jugged Hare somewhere in where the hell is it probably near Barbican the alcohol doesn't help navigation! News from Paddington went there after the database conference afterparty. The Jugged Hare serves game which the reader has just lost. News from Paddington had quail and some roast suckling pig. Oh, and then someone got some wine. And there were starters? And News from Paddington almost didn't spend a penny the whole day -- people above it in the corporate hierarchy split the bill. Infinitely many Paddington points out of five for great value.
  • Nandos, again, but this time in the City! That's right, News from Paddington is moving up in the world. One completely random guy for whom News from Paddington held the door to the toilet said "Thanks! Oh, nice jacket!". News from Paddington's coworker observed it looks like Dread Pirate Roberts from The Princess Bride, which inspired News from Paddington to watch The Princess Bride! Four Paddington points out of five! It's really good! And since these things happened in Nandos, it's also really good!
  • Italian Pizza Connection strikes again! The U.S. Congress deciding that pizza is a vegetable means Italian Pizza Connection is now able to offer salads -- actual salads, with rocket, tomatoes, garlic bread, beef... If the pizza from Italian Pizza Connection is something to die because of, the beef salad from Italian Pizza Connection is something to die for. Yes Paddington points out of five.
  • McDonald's on Edgware Road strikes again as well! News from Paddington ordered some food on a terminal and paid for it but its order number didn't get printed. Doesn't matter, the Italian guy at the collection point gave News from Paddington its "food" anyway. So News from Paddington came back the next day to buy a 20 McNuggets ShareBox. "Share" is a bit of a misnomer. 20 Chicken McNuggets out of five.



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